Crawling
by Jiko-kun
Summary: No matter how hard you try, blood.. and memories.. don't come off easily... [Songfic to Crawling by Linkin Park] which I do not own, by the way


Crawling

Crawling in my skin

These wounds

They will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real…

/Hanyou… You should go and just die somewhere. You really are of no importance to the group. Miroku can suck up most of the enemies without you, and if not, Kagome can just shoot at it with her miko energy, since she has gotten so much stronger. You don't deserve to live among them. You have no worth./

/No… shut up! You don't know anything/

/I know everything. And I know that you have no worth. You shouldn't have been created; you are a monster./

/NO/

Change of View

I felt a small tear run down my cheek. Just because I didn't show my compassion, doesn't mean I didn't have any. I found people that openly showed their compassion had worse enemies then those who didn't.

'Look away… please…' I hated seeing this. It was the same, night after night, and I didn't know why I always came back.

Standing behind a few trees, I started to choke on the sadness that wrapped itself around my stomach. I wanted to run out to him, to tell him to stop… anything to stop it.

Yet night after night, for nearly a month, I had just stood there, watching… horrified by what I was seeing, yet fascinated by the horror.

'Kami-sama… please STOP…'

Change of View

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface

Consuming; confusing

This lack of self-control I fear is never ending

Controlling

I can't seem to find myself again

My walls are closing in…

/You can't see it, but you can smell it, can't you? A fine nose the little hanyou has – all the better./

/Shut up! Just shut UP/

/Your defenses are paper thin… not so tough now, are you? Didn't you claim to be tougher then Koga? Tougher then Sesshomaru? He had some sense – he realized exactly what you were. Filth./

/You're wrong! K-Kagome believes in me!

/Kagome? She just wants you as a trophy to lord over Kikyo! She doesn't actually care/

/She loves me! She would never leave me/

/Awww, did the little doggy think that someone actually loved him/

Change of View

Suddenly, he stopped. Sniffing the air, Inuyasha looked over to where I was hiding. He growled menacingly.

"Get out of the trees. I know you're there."

I silently walked to where he could see me. His eyes widened for a moment, then narrowed in anger.

"How much did you see?"

He was still kneeling by the lake, which was slowly turning a copper colour. The top half of his haori still lay a few feet away from him. His hands were still dipped in the lake, and the blood emitting from them still flowed.

My eyes blurred with tears and my voice turned out as a croak. "Everything."

He made no sign of intending to move.

I've felt this way before

So insecure…

Crawling in my skin

These wounds

They will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing

What is real

/Well , you finally found out she was watching. I wondered how long it would take you./

/You knew/

/The girl's been watching for weeks. Ever since you started./

/Oh shit…/

'How can he just sit there? Why doesn't he look away?' My mind raced, and I found another tear was running down my cheek. Damn, why was I acting so weak? 'Why doesn't he look away?'

"Well?" Inuyasha lifted up hi hands from the water, displaying his palms to the sky. The blood flowed freely from his wounds; a deep, rich red colour. "Do you plan on laughing at me? Or do you want to just call me names and shout at me?"

My voice was hoarse from surprise. "Why?"

"Why what?" He looked away, opposite my direction. "I can still smell the blood. Every day, after fighting again and again, I can still smell it. I don't give a damn whether my enemies live or not – I know that they would've killed me. But the stench of it is still on my hands."

"They why do you make yourself bleed?"

"To cover it up."

"The stench? If you wanted to cover that up, you could just ask Kagome-chan to give you something to cover it up with…"

"To cover up everything! The stench, the scars…"

That caught my attention. "Scars? You don't scar."

His mouth quickly closed, as if he'd said too much, and his face paled. "You wouldn't understand. No one will."

'Oh Kami-sama…' I suddenly had realized what he meant.

Taunts and insults leave their own kind of scar, too.

Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me

Distracting; reacting

Against my will I stand beside my own reflection

It's haunting

How I can't seem

To find myself again

My walls are closing in…

/Methinks she figured it out./

/Whadda mean, figured it out/

/That's just like a hanyou. Never too bright, are you/

/Would you shut up and just tell me what you mean by she figured it out/

/I can't do both at the same time, idiot./

/Stop calling me that/

"I told you, you could never understand." He quickly pulled on his top half of his haori and slipped his hands into his sleeves, even though it would turn the glistening white a dark red. "Now go back and dream about that lecherous houshi."

Temper briefly flared, but I quickly damped it down. For right now, Inuyasha didn't deserve my temper.

"I don't love Miroku." I whispered, so that he could hear me.

An idea quickly formed itself in my head, and I started stage one.

"Stay here."

I've felt this way before.

So insecure…

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will

Not heal

Fear is how

I fall

Confusing  
What is real

/Finally, she's leaving. Now, perhaps you can go and just off a cliff somewhere? I would be doing everyone a huge favour…/

/Go to hell/

/No, I think that's your job. You're the one that hurts Kagome with your gallivanting with Kikyo… I'm sorry. Was gallivanting much too big of a word for your small hanyou head? Perhaps I should try to make the words a little bit easier to understand./

/Just shut up/

/There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop./

Crawling in my skin

These wounds they will

Not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing

Confusing what is real…

After a quick look through Kagome's backpack, I ran on soft feet to where Inuyasha still sat. He was still kneeling by the lake, and he had his hands dipped in it. He looked surprised for a moment to see me back, then his golden eyes narrowed, suspicious of the thing in my hands.

"Hold out your hands," I instructed, leaving his no room for complaint.

Still with suspicion, he held out his hands, and I knelt down in front of them. After assessing the damage, I began to bandage them – first the left one, then the right one.

He quickly pulled them away, after seeing what I had down. His golden eyes glinted as they narrowed, and his long, soft-looking, silver hair shined in the moonlight. 'Soft-looking?' I questioned myself, 'Where did that come from?'

"What are you doing?" Inuyasha asked, putting emphasis on the word 'doing'.

"Sometimes, Inuyasha, you don't need to cover up the scars." I bit my lip; I was almost shaking with nervousness. Although I didn't know what there was to be nervous of – I was still angry about acting weak. "Sometime, Inuyasha, you have to stop the blood from flowing. And I can listen to you, if you ever want to stop the blood."

Inuyasha was surprised into silence. Looking down at his bandaged hands, he smiled.

"That, and if you ever start to do that again, I'll hit you so hard with hiraikotsu that you won't be able to see for a week." I smiled sweetly after this statement.

"Sango?" He hesitated, as if he were fighting a mental war.

"Hai?"

"If you hit me, then I'll hit you back – even if you are a girl."

I smiled again, knowing it was his way of saying thanks.

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface.

Consuming; confusing

What is real

This lack of self-control I fear is never ending

Controlling

Confusing what is real…

Rising up, I slowly took Sango's hand into my bandaged one. She looked up at me and smiled.

The voice was silenced.

OWARI

GLOSSARY:

Hanyou: Half-breed, half-demon

Miko: A priestess with sacred powers

Kami-sama: Deity

-Chan: Best friend, great friend

Hai: Yes

Houshi: Monk

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY – NOR TO I OWN THE SONG 'CRAWLING' BY LINKIN PARK. Sad, isn't it?


End file.
